Most friendships aren't meant to be forever

 There are plenty of reasons why we do things and how we do them(or we tell ourselves there are)

Like why do we stay in relationships we know aren't for the long run?

Or why do we keep talking and meeting up with friends that no longer serve us?

In most cases, we're hoping for a breakthrough or a shift in effort or understanding, but it doesn't tend to happen.

There comes a time and it's normally a little longer than we'd all expect as we tend to hold onto things longer than we should. 

Like... jeans you fit into once, two years ago, and are keeping in your wardrobe just incase you go down two jean sizes. Or that £8 shampoo that didn't smell too great and left your hair feeling like it hadn't been washed properly.. we keep hold of things because we justify why we should keep them.

"It's a waste of money if I throw that away or if I stop talking to that particular friend, we've been through too much together"

But there comes a time, I guess for me it was when I started travelling about 8 years ago, that I got used to saying goodbye to people. 

The feeling of letting go and at the same time having to come to terms with being let go is not something I'd like to continue doing.

It's like you have given your best and it's not enough. 

Like you've been rejected, eventhough, you've sat by a friend for years holding their hand through breakups and misfortunes in their life for them to become self reliant and say "I don't need you anymore"

Priorities change. And whether we find it hard to accept or not, we all have baggage. 

Most of the time, people can only hold their own and get so overwhelmed as they're balancing theirs and yours. That's typically when the distancing happens. 

They become remorseful for taking on your hardships and then become selfish as they have their own to carry.

 They love you and want to be your friend but everytime you meet up it's all about your problems and your life. 

In my experience, if you're dreading having a conversation with a friend, and you know some of their issues are going to annoy you, let them go. 

They're coming to you for support and if you're not going to accept that their problems are valid, do the best thing you can do for them and give them the chance to find another person that can be a good friend to them. 

I have had friends, whose problems become almost a taboo subject for me because I've become so annoyed that they're talking about the same struggles, time and time again that I don't check up on them as much as I should.

People change, their mentality changes, life experiences/relationships/career change/lifestyle choices...there are so many instances throughout our lives that change who we are and in turn who we like/love or who we choose to have in our lives.

Maybe I'm being selfish and self centred, but I've outgrown these people and have learnt that sometimes, my problems are all I can deal with.

It's kind of like a relationship where you think you've found the one, the one good friend who you'll grow old gossiping with, travelling the world with and having as your maid of honour at your wedding, but again like relationships, we're all just people trying navigate through our messy lives that if we have to throw a few overboard to make it to the other side...well.

I feel sad for every lost friendship and relationship, but happy to know that I no longer hold their baggage as well as my own.

Friendship is built on respect. You speak positively about them when they're not around. You comfort them, even when you're the one who needs it more. You do things and say things to accommodate because you know as your friend, they would do it for you.

Great friendships are what get you through those ups and downs, especially the downs.

I'm so grateful for those who have surrounded me in the past year whilst being at my lowest, I will not forget who was there when I needed it the most. But life changes so quickly and I hope none of them will be letting me go anytime soon.